What women want?

We found this on the internet. I really, SINCERELY hope this is not what guys are thinking. What is the world coming to nowadays. It's so wrong and twisted it's almost humorous. 

What I've Learned About Women **


GET A HOBBY:

Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your
life revolve around women.


SHUT UP:

The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your
problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and
b!tching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything,
don't be a pessimist.


WHAT TO TALK about:

Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30%
you. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended
questions (why, how, etc.).


LISTEN:

Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a
girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what
she wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless
the answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you
gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation
towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying
questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can
do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are
married."


BE DIRECT:

Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it
immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will
be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging.
Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend" 
sounds
better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The
first one is more a command than a question.


ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:

There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then
asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you
are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will
be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling,
miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a
great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore
will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.


5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:

1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet

* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.


LESS IS MORE:

When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them
less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve
one), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 mins,
max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once
in a while, if she's been nice).


DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:

You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating
more than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.


MOVE ON:

This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy
and move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just
blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving
on than by being a wuss who can't live without her.


ON THEIR THOUGHTS:

Forget about what women want and all that other bullsh!t. Women don't
even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to
make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a
challenge and by not taking their sh!t. Treat women's thoughts as
non-existent.


YOU ARE NUMBER 1:

Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and
think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are
selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of
building one for her.


DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:

Read a post by Allen Thompson on this topic, it is a fascinating
article.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/whynot.htm


PASS THEIR TESTS:

Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with.
It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of
music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This
is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you
are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay
attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from
then on because they have found a MAN.


BE A CHALLENGE:

I have covered this topic above in "less is more" ... end dates
first, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have
doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you
are probably seeing other girls.


BE A GOOD LOVER:

Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If
done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more.
Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.


DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:

Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women.
Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so
easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world.
Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the
easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time,
she'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something
totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's
pissed about.


HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:

Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too
seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be
funny every chance you get.


HAVE FUN:

After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had,
even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while
she played stupid games.


YOU ARE BETTER OFF:

Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be
happier.


LOVE:

Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up
while men were building and making the world what it is today. As far
as a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's
no universal meaning of the word love.