Good news for my faithful reader. The fog is finally starting to clear.
This translates into normal life updates in lieu of the incredibly deep life-pondering thoughts that dominated all my previous posts. So you might actually get to know what’s going on in my life instead of sitting there trying to decipher the meaning behind all my heavy thoughts.
In my defense, in talking with other newly grads in my situation I’ve learned that the post-graduation, newly-employed shock is 100% normal. Good to know I’m not alone. It’s basically like going through the five stages of grief. Don’t laugh. If you loved your college experience, it’s gonna happen to you too.
(Although I also had some other factors going into this that made it worse).
Denial: Happened during the summertime, and ended when my roommates and friends returned to school. Oh wait, this isn’t just a summer job, this is going to be my life.
Anger: I would actually say jealousy would be better for my situation. At my roommates (not at them; at the situation) for not being able to hang out anymore, for getting to be around people their age still and for being in an environment more conducive to making new friends. (They’re both in med schools) To experience new exciting changes while my life slowed down and leveled off.
Bargaining: Maybe I’m not in the right city. I just need a different job. Anybody else in my situation would feel the same way. Maybe I need to start grad school earlier so that I can meet people, too.
Depression: Set in when I realized my life for the next year would be mundane. That I really wasn’t going to move back to Manhattan and see all my friends again. That I would never live with that many girls again and have somebody to hang out with and talk to 24/7.That my life was turning into a giant routine. That I really did have to sit in a cubicle for 40 hours a week. I wasn’t making new friends and everybody else was. I wasn’t doing what I was passionate about, ect.
Acceptance: Finding the positives, realizing I was lucky in many aspects, and picking up and moving on. It is the way it is, so I can either be reactive about it or proactive about it.
Grief cycle finally completed. So, my life has picked back up again. And life post-college is good and fun : ). All it took is a little effort.
So now for my normal updates:
After looking at grad schools online I’ve come to the conclusion that KU Med is actually one of my best options. Not only is it nationally ranked but it’s closer, cheaper, and puts me in the network of every single KC hospital. I went in and talked to the lady there/had an interview and she said about 30 people go through the program each year, all from different backgrounds. Med students who decided halfway through it wasn’t for them. Students who got their undergrads in pre-med but changed their minds. Or people like me, with a communications background. It’s literally an 8 minute hop on the highway from my apartment.
The bad news?
Only 1/3 of the applicants get accepted.
I have to take Accounting and Statistics next semester at JoCo (me and math don't get along)
Alongside my job I would basically have no free time and it would take 4 years to complete (2 years if I didn’t have a job).
Can’t hurt to apply so I’m working on doing that and completing other applications to places like Chicago and Texas as well.
It’s funny because the more I realize how busy I’m going to be in the future the more I’m enjoying the fact that what I do at work stays at work and I have the entire evenings and weekends to do whatever I want. I definitely don’t want to take this for granted!
Til next time,
~Julie
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thoughts.
The reason for the recent absence of posts is none other than the fact that I have had so much happen to me in the past two weeks that I’m not quite sure where to even begin. I’ve sat here numerous times trying to write about a topic only to be interrupted by my brain, which takes me millions of places at once. So in an effort to accommodate the multitude of randomness running through my head I decided to write short blurbs about my recent realizations.
Enjoy.
It’s true that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, but it’s also true that you don’t know what you’ve been missing until it arrives.
One of my favorite quotes ever. If I could sum up all of these little blurbs into one life lesson, (especially one i've learned recently) this quote would do it.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Living with regrets gets you nowhere. I’ve learned that letting go of the past instead of looking back on it is empowering.
The key to change is to let go of fear.
Fearing change equals no progression. Trying new things instead of shying away from them allows you to experience positive changes in your life.
Good things happen when you least expect them to.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse… they get better. I’m a walking talking example of it. I like to think of it as God’s way of giving you encouragement.
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
There are different kinds of friends. The ones you can talk to and complain to until the cows come home. The ones who make you laugh in spite of your mood. The ones who force you to go out when you don’t feel like it (and you end up, to your surprise, having fun). The ones who are a walking, talking entertainment show. (haha) The ones who ask you questions that lead you to your own answers. The ones who know what you’re thinking and when to say things at the right time. The ones who share your same brain. The ones who comfort you by their mere presence. I’ve learned that I am fortunate to have, hands down, the best friends a girl could ask for. I could go on for days about this one.
Strangers are friends waiting to happen.
Long story made short: making friends and meeting new people is my new hobby.
Intelligence is refreshing
The most interesting conversations come from those with somebody who is intelligent. They leave you with different perspectives to think about. They keep you on your toes. At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I love talking with smart people.
My apologies for the cryptic post.I've heard "I read it in your blog" one too many times this week from one too many strangers in regards to my life details. I guess that's what happens when friends of friends get bored and start clicking around on people's facebook walls : ) .
My bad.
Til Next time!
Enjoy.
It’s true that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, but it’s also true that you don’t know what you’ve been missing until it arrives.
One of my favorite quotes ever. If I could sum up all of these little blurbs into one life lesson, (especially one i've learned recently) this quote would do it.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Living with regrets gets you nowhere. I’ve learned that letting go of the past instead of looking back on it is empowering.
The key to change is to let go of fear.
Fearing change equals no progression. Trying new things instead of shying away from them allows you to experience positive changes in your life.
Good things happen when you least expect them to.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse… they get better. I’m a walking talking example of it. I like to think of it as God’s way of giving you encouragement.
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
There are different kinds of friends. The ones you can talk to and complain to until the cows come home. The ones who make you laugh in spite of your mood. The ones who force you to go out when you don’t feel like it (and you end up, to your surprise, having fun). The ones who are a walking, talking entertainment show. (haha) The ones who ask you questions that lead you to your own answers. The ones who know what you’re thinking and when to say things at the right time. The ones who share your same brain. The ones who comfort you by their mere presence. I’ve learned that I am fortunate to have, hands down, the best friends a girl could ask for. I could go on for days about this one.
Strangers are friends waiting to happen.
Long story made short: making friends and meeting new people is my new hobby.
Intelligence is refreshing
The most interesting conversations come from those with somebody who is intelligent. They leave you with different perspectives to think about. They keep you on your toes. At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I love talking with smart people.
My apologies for the cryptic post.I've heard "I read it in your blog" one too many times this week from one too many strangers in regards to my life details. I guess that's what happens when friends of friends get bored and start clicking around on people's facebook walls : ) .
My bad.
Til Next time!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A step outside of my box
Joining a sorority is like having 50 friends with similar interests, lifestyles, goals and values presented to you on a platter. You may not like everybody but are bound to find some lifelong friendships and a full-time support system throughout college.
Maybe that’s why I found myself wondering what to do with myself when my roomies, due to their demanding schedules, started staying in to study on weekends. Not one weekend, every weekend.
Don’t get me wrong, it’d be one thing if I had a book I could bury my face into, but seeing as how I’m not in school and have no outside work, I truly have no reason to be sitting around on Friday and Saturday nights, especially when they can’t even socialize.
After some thought I realized it’s because of habits I formed in college. When you’re living with 80 (and even seven) girls it’s not a matter of finding something to do, it’s choosing which activity you’d like to do, with which friends. You don’t have to go looking for opportunities, they present themselves to you. And quite frankly, you get lazy.
The real world is different.
Of course there are factors that are affecting my situation. Before you go thinking "Wow, Julie's a loser" , I need to defend myself and say I've found things to do every weekend. It's just harder to find. Or perhaps I crave it more. After sitting in a cubicle all day doing a job I'm not particularly passionate about it's nice to have something to look forward to at the end of the week.
Some other factors: I work in an office full of seven people all 30 years or older. My roommates are both hardcore studiers in med school. My friends are scattered all over Kansas. (Yes, I consider you OPers “scattered” because it’s still 25 minutes away which seems so far!)
In other words, you can no longer have the luxury of waiting for the night’s plans to formulate and fall into your lap.
College is officially over.
However, I’ve chosen to look at this as a positive opportunity for me to grow.
Long story made short, making friends without the “college cushion” requires confidence, effort and an open-mind. And after being forced to find things to do and meet new people I feel like I’ve grown a lot in this area.
This week I’ve joined/looked into various area “young professionals” type societies/ organizations having to do with career goals, philanthropy, ect., which I explain in more detail later. Gulp. That means that before I make the friends and build the network I’m hoping to make (and I’d be lying if I were to say it’s not a resume builder as well) , I will be attending these dinners/ lectures/ luncheons/ ....alone.
Alone? With 27 and 28 year olds?! Eek.
But, at the same time, it's about time.
So I'm doing it. Updates to follow later.
Maybe that’s why I found myself wondering what to do with myself when my roomies, due to their demanding schedules, started staying in to study on weekends. Not one weekend, every weekend.
Don’t get me wrong, it’d be one thing if I had a book I could bury my face into, but seeing as how I’m not in school and have no outside work, I truly have no reason to be sitting around on Friday and Saturday nights, especially when they can’t even socialize.
After some thought I realized it’s because of habits I formed in college. When you’re living with 80 (and even seven) girls it’s not a matter of finding something to do, it’s choosing which activity you’d like to do, with which friends. You don’t have to go looking for opportunities, they present themselves to you. And quite frankly, you get lazy.
The real world is different.
Of course there are factors that are affecting my situation. Before you go thinking "Wow, Julie's a loser" , I need to defend myself and say I've found things to do every weekend. It's just harder to find. Or perhaps I crave it more. After sitting in a cubicle all day doing a job I'm not particularly passionate about it's nice to have something to look forward to at the end of the week.
Some other factors: I work in an office full of seven people all 30 years or older. My roommates are both hardcore studiers in med school. My friends are scattered all over Kansas. (Yes, I consider you OPers “scattered” because it’s still 25 minutes away which seems so far!)
In other words, you can no longer have the luxury of waiting for the night’s plans to formulate and fall into your lap.
College is officially over.
However, I’ve chosen to look at this as a positive opportunity for me to grow.
Long story made short, making friends without the “college cushion” requires confidence, effort and an open-mind. And after being forced to find things to do and meet new people I feel like I’ve grown a lot in this area.
This week I’ve joined/looked into various area “young professionals” type societies/ organizations having to do with career goals, philanthropy, ect., which I explain in more detail later. Gulp. That means that before I make the friends and build the network I’m hoping to make (and I’d be lying if I were to say it’s not a resume builder as well) , I will be attending these dinners/ lectures/ luncheons/ ....alone.
Alone? With 27 and 28 year olds?! Eek.
But, at the same time, it's about time.
So I'm doing it. Updates to follow later.
Monday, September 14, 2009
BOYS.
You either love them or you hate them.
They can bring a smile to your face, butterflies to your stomach or an extra bounce to your step.
Or they can just bring on the tears.
This weekend, after having come to grips with certain boy problems of my own I was ready to relax and have fun. Ironically enough, my friends too were in situations that caused them to share my intense hate for the male race, thus making it difficult to distract myself.
“He hasn’t called me in two weeks. What should I do?”
“He won’t hang out with my friends.”
“I tell him I miss him and he replies: ‘I’m drunk’.”
“Is it bad that it’s been 3 hours and he hasn’t texted me back?”
I am not exaggerating any of these.
Between listening to girls’ attempts to decipher the meaning behind these actions, watching them stay IN to avoid possible run-ins with their exes and even waking up on my friend’s couch to hear her roommate bawling on the phone, telling the EXACT same boy story with THREE different friends, I had an epiphany. Actually several. Here are realizations I have made in just the past week.
1.) It is pointless to “crack the male code”.
Because there is no male code to crack. Boys are simple. They either like us or they don’t.
Why do girls bemoan their situations? Because deep down they know that the guy isn’t interested but they’d like to think they are the exception and want to hear their friends affirm this. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t admit to doing this. I didn’t truly realize how pathetic/ stupid I must sound at times until I heard some of the things these girls were saying. If he tells you he loves you and never shows it, don’t be fooled. As an objective listener it became very clear to me. Some of these girls were 27 years old. 27. And still haven’t learned.
….. “He hasn’t called me in two weeks. What should I do?” (..uh…… DUH?)
2.) People don’t change.
Can they learn? Yes. The inexperienced ones will inevitably stumble through the first part of their first serious relationships and deserve some leeway. But a person’s character will never change. Likewise, a person who dumped you isn’t going to wake up one day and realize you’re the one. They might for a while but they will inevitably return to their original state of mind. Trust me. I have learned this one the very, very hard way and am currently kicking myself in the butt because of it. (However, I have also learned that there are exceptions to this too. Depends on the situation). You see the good in them. You know they have it in there. They are a better person because of you. Maybe he’ll grow out of… Maybe he’ll realize...If only he didn’t do… He’d be so perfect if… Red flags.
Because I don’t wish to share my relationship details with the entire cyber world, the best way I can explain this is in a hypothetical situation. If you date a binge drinker who stops drinking because of you, you will feel exceptionally great. He loves you so much that he gave up his passion. Hate to break it to you, but you will eventually get dumped because he will eventually go back to binge drinking and will eventually marry somebody who is either ok with it or a binge drinker themselves. Wow, what a lucky girl. Do you really want that to be you?
3.) Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean he’s good for you.
This one’s simple. I believe there are officially 5 different ways people like to receive and show affection. (Megan are you the one who told me about this?). It’s true. It is very possible that somebody is showing you affection in a way different than you’d like to receive it. I.e.: If you’re a talker and need to vent your feelings don’t be with somebody who can’t handle hearing them. If you like to cuddle don’t date somebody who doesn’t. Find the person who can.
4.) You are in control of your emotions.
Not boys. Believe it or not. Stop blaming them for all your problems. Because ultimately you have the power to get rid of them. (I literally just learned this one)
5.) You can use the time you otherwise would have spent obsessing over a boy to focus on YOU.
It’s a great feeling. To wake up every morning and be in control of your mood that day. To not wonder if he’s going to call, going to text, is going to want to hang out, is going to be mad at you for hanging out with your friends, whether he likes other girls better, what his mood is going to be like, whether or not you'll say something that will set them off or turn off their feelings toward you. To not have your blackberry parked by your side at all times, waiting and wondering why it decided to stop working all of a sudden. (yeah, right.) Trust me, being stone cold alone is light years better than the anxiety associated with this. Why live your life tiptoeing around on eggshells? You can use the time to rekindle friendships, try new things, meet new people, all with a more positive carefree attitude on life. I have come to the realization that it’s very freeing and empowering.
6.) By being with somebody who isn’t into you and/or is “wishy-washy” and/or isn’t right for you, you are one step closer to being with your soul mate.
Pretty simple. Staying with somebody just to have a boyfriend is preventing you from finding that perfect person. It’s a process and plan God has in store for us that will come when it is supposed to. In 10 days, 10 weeks or 10 years. Looking for it won’t speed up the process. Enjoying your life and living it to the fullest can certainly make it go by faster, though : )
I think remembering the things I listed above has shortened my recovery period. So I thought I would share.
(Wow…Sorry for the long post! )
They can bring a smile to your face, butterflies to your stomach or an extra bounce to your step.
Or they can just bring on the tears.
This weekend, after having come to grips with certain boy problems of my own I was ready to relax and have fun. Ironically enough, my friends too were in situations that caused them to share my intense hate for the male race, thus making it difficult to distract myself.
“He hasn’t called me in two weeks. What should I do?”
“He won’t hang out with my friends.”
“I tell him I miss him and he replies: ‘I’m drunk’.”
“Is it bad that it’s been 3 hours and he hasn’t texted me back?”
I am not exaggerating any of these.
Between listening to girls’ attempts to decipher the meaning behind these actions, watching them stay IN to avoid possible run-ins with their exes and even waking up on my friend’s couch to hear her roommate bawling on the phone, telling the EXACT same boy story with THREE different friends, I had an epiphany. Actually several. Here are realizations I have made in just the past week.
1.) It is pointless to “crack the male code”.
Because there is no male code to crack. Boys are simple. They either like us or they don’t.
Why do girls bemoan their situations? Because deep down they know that the guy isn’t interested but they’d like to think they are the exception and want to hear their friends affirm this. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t admit to doing this. I didn’t truly realize how pathetic/ stupid I must sound at times until I heard some of the things these girls were saying. If he tells you he loves you and never shows it, don’t be fooled. As an objective listener it became very clear to me. Some of these girls were 27 years old. 27. And still haven’t learned.
….. “He hasn’t called me in two weeks. What should I do?” (..uh…… DUH?)
2.) People don’t change.
Can they learn? Yes. The inexperienced ones will inevitably stumble through the first part of their first serious relationships and deserve some leeway. But a person’s character will never change. Likewise, a person who dumped you isn’t going to wake up one day and realize you’re the one. They might for a while but they will inevitably return to their original state of mind. Trust me. I have learned this one the very, very hard way and am currently kicking myself in the butt because of it. (However, I have also learned that there are exceptions to this too. Depends on the situation). You see the good in them. You know they have it in there. They are a better person because of you. Maybe he’ll grow out of… Maybe he’ll realize...If only he didn’t do… He’d be so perfect if… Red flags.
Because I don’t wish to share my relationship details with the entire cyber world, the best way I can explain this is in a hypothetical situation. If you date a binge drinker who stops drinking because of you, you will feel exceptionally great. He loves you so much that he gave up his passion. Hate to break it to you, but you will eventually get dumped because he will eventually go back to binge drinking and will eventually marry somebody who is either ok with it or a binge drinker themselves. Wow, what a lucky girl. Do you really want that to be you?
3.) Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean he’s good for you.
This one’s simple. I believe there are officially 5 different ways people like to receive and show affection. (Megan are you the one who told me about this?). It’s true. It is very possible that somebody is showing you affection in a way different than you’d like to receive it. I.e.: If you’re a talker and need to vent your feelings don’t be with somebody who can’t handle hearing them. If you like to cuddle don’t date somebody who doesn’t. Find the person who can.
4.) You are in control of your emotions.
Not boys. Believe it or not. Stop blaming them for all your problems. Because ultimately you have the power to get rid of them. (I literally just learned this one)
5.) You can use the time you otherwise would have spent obsessing over a boy to focus on YOU.
It’s a great feeling. To wake up every morning and be in control of your mood that day. To not wonder if he’s going to call, going to text, is going to want to hang out, is going to be mad at you for hanging out with your friends, whether he likes other girls better, what his mood is going to be like, whether or not you'll say something that will set them off or turn off their feelings toward you. To not have your blackberry parked by your side at all times, waiting and wondering why it decided to stop working all of a sudden. (yeah, right.) Trust me, being stone cold alone is light years better than the anxiety associated with this. Why live your life tiptoeing around on eggshells? You can use the time to rekindle friendships, try new things, meet new people, all with a more positive carefree attitude on life. I have come to the realization that it’s very freeing and empowering.
6.) By being with somebody who isn’t into you and/or is “wishy-washy” and/or isn’t right for you, you are one step closer to being with your soul mate.
Pretty simple. Staying with somebody just to have a boyfriend is preventing you from finding that perfect person. It’s a process and plan God has in store for us that will come when it is supposed to. In 10 days, 10 weeks or 10 years. Looking for it won’t speed up the process. Enjoying your life and living it to the fullest can certainly make it go by faster, though : )
I think remembering the things I listed above has shortened my recovery period. So I thought I would share.
(Wow…Sorry for the long post! )
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Essay or blog post?
Thanks be to Bridget when she asked me the other day: "Do you sit there and edit your blogs? Because it sure seems like it."
The answer, ladies and gents is YES. I've even gone so far as looking up a word in the online Thesaurus. ("Quintessence" in case you were really curious). Dont' worry, it's not a regular thing but the word was on the tip of my fingers/tongue and I just couldn't think of it.
The next big question: WHY? Is it a roundabout way to try and impress my readers? (all 3 of you haha) ? Lack of having a life? Chronic boredom? Nerdiness?
Unfortunately I can't tell you the answer because I want to keep bringing in the dough. soorryyyyy!! haha. but I can tell you that I love writing, I miss it, and writing in my blog is a way to keep my brain going and stimulated during the day if you know what I mean. Forces me to think about things and utilize my brain.
Which brings me to my next topic. I miss being busy. I miss having a bajillion things to do, going from here to there, feeling like I had an impact on other people's lives or organizations, being challenged to add my own flare to whatever I chose to become involved in. I miss looking forward to going to my internships everyday. I miss living in a constant chaos of activites and school and having as much fun as I could in between. Life's slowing down a little bit too much for me and I'm not used to it. It's all routine: work, come home, work out, eat, find something to do. On a lucky day I'll catch my roomies while they aren't shut in their rooms buried in books. (Maybe that explains the earlier blog post about how obsessed I am with my cat?? haha) Getting them to go out on weekends is like pulling teeth. And I'm used to being the one having mine pulled, so to speak.
So, in defense of my deep thougthful blog posts: It's very hard not to be insightful about life when you have so much time to think about it all! And why not keep up the writing? I love it and I hope to someday be able to utilize it in my career.
So pardon my rant, but here comes another one. I've been thinking about it all. Listening to friends who have landed amazing jobs that they love (congrats because some of them are you!) have plans to move to the cities of their dreams (which maybe I will do that too who knows) and I've decided, who's to stop me from getting involved and continuing to be impactful and do things I love even if I have graduated? So that's what I'm going to do. I'll keep you updated as to how it goes. :-)
The answer, ladies and gents is YES. I've even gone so far as looking up a word in the online Thesaurus. ("Quintessence" in case you were really curious). Dont' worry, it's not a regular thing but the word was on the tip of my fingers/tongue and I just couldn't think of it.
The next big question: WHY? Is it a roundabout way to try and impress my readers? (all 3 of you haha) ? Lack of having a life? Chronic boredom? Nerdiness?
Unfortunately I can't tell you the answer because I want to keep bringing in the dough. soorryyyyy!! haha. but I can tell you that I love writing, I miss it, and writing in my blog is a way to keep my brain going and stimulated during the day if you know what I mean. Forces me to think about things and utilize my brain.
Which brings me to my next topic. I miss being busy. I miss having a bajillion things to do, going from here to there, feeling like I had an impact on other people's lives or organizations, being challenged to add my own flare to whatever I chose to become involved in. I miss looking forward to going to my internships everyday. I miss living in a constant chaos of activites and school and having as much fun as I could in between. Life's slowing down a little bit too much for me and I'm not used to it. It's all routine: work, come home, work out, eat, find something to do. On a lucky day I'll catch my roomies while they aren't shut in their rooms buried in books. (Maybe that explains the earlier blog post about how obsessed I am with my cat?? haha) Getting them to go out on weekends is like pulling teeth. And I'm used to being the one having mine pulled, so to speak.
So, in defense of my deep thougthful blog posts: It's very hard not to be insightful about life when you have so much time to think about it all! And why not keep up the writing? I love it and I hope to someday be able to utilize it in my career.
So pardon my rant, but here comes another one. I've been thinking about it all. Listening to friends who have landed amazing jobs that they love (congrats because some of them are you!) have plans to move to the cities of their dreams (which maybe I will do that too who knows) and I've decided, who's to stop me from getting involved and continuing to be impactful and do things I love even if I have graduated? So that's what I'm going to do. I'll keep you updated as to how it goes. :-)
Friday, September 4, 2009
What women want?
We found this on the internet. I really, SINCERELY hope this is not what guys are thinking. What is the world coming to nowadays. It's so wrong and twisted it's almost humorous.
What I've Learned About Women **
GET A HOBBY:
Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your
life revolve around women.
SHUT UP:
The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your
problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and
b!tching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything,
don't be a pessimist.
WHAT TO TALK about:
Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30%
you. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended
questions (why, how, etc.).
LISTEN:
Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a
girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what
she wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless
the answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you
gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation
towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying
questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can
do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are
married."
BE DIRECT:
Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it
immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will
be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging.
Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend"
sounds
better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The
first one is more a command than a question.
ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:
There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then
asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you
are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will
be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling,
miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a
great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore
will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.
5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:
1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet
* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.
LESS IS MORE:
When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them
less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve
one), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 mins,
max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once
in a while, if she's been nice).
DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:
You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating
more than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.
MOVE ON:
This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy
and move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just
blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving
on than by being a wuss who can't live without her.
ON THEIR THOUGHTS:
Forget about what women want and all that other bullsh!t. Women don't
even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to
make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a
challenge and by not taking their sh!t. Treat women's thoughts as
non-existent.
YOU ARE NUMBER 1:
Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and
think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are
selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of
building one for her.
DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:
Read a post by Allen Thompson on this topic, it is a fascinating
article.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/whynot.htm
PASS THEIR TESTS:
Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with.
It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of
music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This
is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you
are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay
attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from
then on because they have found a MAN.
BE A CHALLENGE:
I have covered this topic above in "less is more" ... end dates
first, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have
doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you
are probably seeing other girls.
BE A GOOD LOVER:
Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If
done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more.
Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.
DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:
Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women.
Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so
easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world.
Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the
easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time,
she'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something
totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's
pissed about.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:
Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too
seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be
funny every chance you get.
HAVE FUN:
After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had,
even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while
she played stupid games.
YOU ARE BETTER OFF:
Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be
happier.
LOVE:
Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up
while men were building and making the world what it is today. As far
as a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's
no universal meaning of the word love.
GET A HOBBY:
Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your
life revolve around women.
SHUT UP:
The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your
problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and
b!tching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything,
don't be a pessimist.
WHAT TO TALK about:
Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30%
you. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended
questions (why, how, etc.).
LISTEN:
Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a
girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what
she wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless
the answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you
gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation
towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying
questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can
do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are
married."
BE DIRECT:
Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it
immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will
be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging.
Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend"
sounds
better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The
first one is more a command than a question.
ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:
There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then
asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you
are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will
be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling,
miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a
great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore
will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.
5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:
1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet
* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.
LESS IS MORE:
When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them
less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve
one), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 mins,
max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once
in a while, if she's been nice).
DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:
You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating
more than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.
MOVE ON:
This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy
and move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just
blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving
on than by being a wuss who can't live without her.
ON THEIR THOUGHTS:
Forget about what women want and all that other bullsh!t. Women don't
even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to
make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a
challenge and by not taking their sh!t. Treat women's thoughts as
non-existent.
YOU ARE NUMBER 1:
Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and
think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are
selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of
building one for her.
DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:
Read a post by Allen Thompson on this topic, it is a fascinating
article.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/whynot.htm
PASS THEIR TESTS:
Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with.
It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of
music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This
is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you
are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay
attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from
then on because they have found a MAN.
BE A CHALLENGE:
I have covered this topic above in "less is more" ... end dates
first, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have
doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you
are probably seeing other girls.
BE A GOOD LOVER:
Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If
done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more.
Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.
DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:
Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women.
Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so
easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world.
Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the
easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time,
she'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something
totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's
pissed about.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:
Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too
seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be
funny every chance you get.
HAVE FUN:
After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had,
even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while
she played stupid games.
YOU ARE BETTER OFF:
Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be
happier.
LOVE:
Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up
while men were building and making the world what it is today. As far
as a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's
no universal meaning of the word love.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Pets...
The quintessence of unconditional love.
Think about it. These innocent furballs exemplify a unique form of steadfast loyalty.
I learned firsthand with my little one that their companionship provides you with more than any friend, relative or boyfriend can offer. Pets don’t care how stressed out you are, how much you feel like talking or what you feel like doing. They are your company that never disagrees with you. Let’s face it, you could wake up with a fro and a pizza face and these creatures would still adore everything about you.
After living with little Milo I realized I’ve never seen any living being so fascinated with every aspect of a daily routine. I’ve grown accustomed to the early wake-up call of a purring furball parading across my face , to the inevitable thud of my phone falling from my nightstand to the floor as he pounces my vibrating alarm clock. To him trotting around around as my little follower, watching me put on makeup, patiently waiting outside my shower and meowing when he thinks I’ve been in there too long, catching spare food particles that fall on the floor while I’m cooking dinner. To having him on my chest while I watch tv and staring at me inquisitively (although when Tom and Jerry is on he actually watches it. True story). To him rousing himself from a deep sleep when I arrive home from work and stumbling towards me with his eyes half closed because he’s excited to see me. To finding jewelry, receipts, pen caps and other paraphernalia hidden in random spots in my apartment where he’s hidden them.
Having a little follower that needed constant entertainment used to stress me out. As he’s grown older and more self-amused I’ve learned to love it. (In case you haven’t already noticed.) It’s the curiousness and innocence about them that brightens my mood daily.
Props to all of you and your daily pet updates. They motivated me to write this!
Think about it. These innocent furballs exemplify a unique form of steadfast loyalty.
I learned firsthand with my little one that their companionship provides you with more than any friend, relative or boyfriend can offer. Pets don’t care how stressed out you are, how much you feel like talking or what you feel like doing. They are your company that never disagrees with you. Let’s face it, you could wake up with a fro and a pizza face and these creatures would still adore everything about you.
After living with little Milo I realized I’ve never seen any living being so fascinated with every aspect of a daily routine. I’ve grown accustomed to the early wake-up call of a purring furball parading across my face , to the inevitable thud of my phone falling from my nightstand to the floor as he pounces my vibrating alarm clock. To him trotting around around as my little follower, watching me put on makeup, patiently waiting outside my shower and meowing when he thinks I’ve been in there too long, catching spare food particles that fall on the floor while I’m cooking dinner. To having him on my chest while I watch tv and staring at me inquisitively (although when Tom and Jerry is on he actually watches it. True story). To him rousing himself from a deep sleep when I arrive home from work and stumbling towards me with his eyes half closed because he’s excited to see me. To finding jewelry, receipts, pen caps and other paraphernalia hidden in random spots in my apartment where he’s hidden them.
Having a little follower that needed constant entertainment used to stress me out. As he’s grown older and more self-amused I’ve learned to love it. (In case you haven’t already noticed.) It’s the curiousness and innocence about them that brightens my mood daily.
Props to all of you and your daily pet updates. They motivated me to write this!
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